An Iron Approach loses this Granny

You will have realised by now that I believe in meditation, especially for older people and this is where meditation has taken me this week.  I was rather surprised when I read about 

Sharon Meers, co author of Getting to 50/50: How Working Parents Can Have It All.  In an interview to promote her book, she explained that having set out to create the sort of egalitarian marriage of which bickering dual career couples can only dream - one where everything from childcare to chores, to the responsibility for earning a living is split 50/50 between them, she and her husband have a "family agreement" which was committed to paper before they for married and it covers everything, childcare, time off and commitment to earning. See Gaby Hinsliff's article in The Times this past Thursday.  Doesn't she look great, good teeth, handsome and happy husband and successful career.  My gripe isn't what you might expect a Granny to gripe over, I really think that sharing is good but my gripe is with the iron nature of committing it to a signed agreement.  It is the iron nature of that which I have in my mind.  I found myself looking out of the train window as it sped through the countryside.  The approaching spring, green leaves coming out and more light shows the sharp contrast between the natural landscape and the metalwork which carried out ways of communicating.  I thought that this was a mark of the iron age, metal frameworks allowing speed of movement and of communication and that there is much to commend the result but the metalwork, the structures which hold it in place are unyielding.  So, reading this article on the same day made me wonder how the agreement would hold up when things weren't so rosy, if redundancy struck one and not the other, if sickness or disease meant that one needed more care. A loving relationship backed by commitment would/should hold up if things swung to say 75/25 or even 95/5, it shouldn't need signing up for.  You see, events are full of surprises and old age creeps up and catches one person in one way, and another in another and it is only the spirit of the relationship which will cover those things.  It is real communication, real understanding and real kindness which gets you through that.  I expect that Mr and Mrs Meers may get through toothlessness and changes in face and body fine but maybe another couple would hold up the paper and say" "You aren't keeping to the agreement, I will only push your wheelchair if you push mine!"  
And that would be a shame because we need to be fluid in our understanding of one another.  Meditation allows the space to develop patience and understanding and that brings fluidity