Only two ways of connecting, love and indifference

Pump Street Bakery, a good place for doughnuts

We met up for coffee at the Pump Street Bakery in Orford.  It, being Lent, meant we divided a doughnut three ways and then sat with our coffee in the sun discussing life, old friends and hoping for future meetings.  His daughter, Claire is the woman worth listening to (see blog entry).  He had visited her teacher in India and we were talking about what this teacher had that was  particular and how he managed to convey it and why.  My friend  said that this man connected with each person exactly where they were without criticism, seeing only the goodness of spirit in them.  We then talked a bit more about love, the four of us there round the table in the sun in Orford, doughnut crumbs only left and he said that the wise say that there are only two ways of connecting with another person (if you are wise!);  one is in love and the other is with indifference.  Now, don't you think that is a surprising answer?  But examine it carefully as we did and we concluded that if it is hard to love someone, someone who maybe doesn't like you or who thinks badly of you, the best alternative you can offer is not to mind, that is to be indifferent to their dislike and even maybe to pray that the dislike drops off them because dislike is never comfortable for the disliker however justified it may seem.  Somewhere inside each one of us, we know with absolute certainty that the proper connection between all people is to be loving and to be kind and to look for the best. 

So, we gathered ourselves together, promised to meet again next time we were all in Suffolk and went on our way a little the wiser and certainly thinking about all that we had talked about.  It meant that we didn't spend too long thinking about the other doughnuts in the shop or all the other delicious pastries and breads BUNS and chocolates and long lazy breakfasts. The doughnuts are on the counter see them here!!! Hope our birthday Bun all that way away is having a huge great birthday cake for tea.